Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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