I must be too annoying 4 u.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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