3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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