Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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