Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
