i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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