there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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