I wanna bring you to show and tell
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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