i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
