i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
