Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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