Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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