Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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