Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
