I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
