he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
