I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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