I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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