I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
