its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
