I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
