i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
