i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
