Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize