Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
