Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
