Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it hurts more in the daytime
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
