My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
