question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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