Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
