Me too!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
