So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
