who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize