Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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