I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
