i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
