You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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