If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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