So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
