somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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