fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
