You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
