This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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