I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
