Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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