physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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