it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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