i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
