I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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