Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
