I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
