Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
