He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch