just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize