I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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