Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

God gave us a 4 year grace period.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night

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(913): View more from Kansas

So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on

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(515): View more from Iowa

At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.

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