From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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