We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
