Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
