I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He did a backflip because drugs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
