he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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