I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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